What it means to care for ourselves sexually in 2023.
Humans are sexual beings, and your sexuality plays a monumental role in your overall quality of life. Does this mean you need to have sex every day to achieve your peak sexual wellness? Not necessarily…although you can if you want! Contemporarily, sexual wellness envelops a host of categories and practices –
The evolution of sexual wellness
How did a concept that was once categorized solely as the absence of disease become something so dynamic and comprehensive? Unfortunately, it wasn’t overnight, and it wasn’t a walk in the park. The definition of sexual wellness we use today is the product of nearly a century of movements, epidemics, discussions, risks, and a monumental need for change. Sexual wellness is now defined as something wider, deeper, and kinder than the results of a blood test or the number of sexual partners someone has had.
A modernized definition
As stated by The World Health Organization, “Sexual health is fundamental to the overall health and well-being of individuals, couples and families, and to the social and economic development of communities and countries. [It] requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.” This definition, presented by such an influential and established organization, is groundbreaking not only because of its inclusive phrasing, but because of its emphasis on the themes of positivity, respect, pleasure, and consent. These are all concepts that depend intrinsically upon each person’s identity, first and foremost. Who are you attracted to? What brings you pleasure? Autonomy, and curiosity regarding your own expressions of sexual wellness, and how those overlap and intertwine with others’, becomes the priority.
How do I cultivate sexual wellness?
The following is a list of ways we can cultivate sexual wellness in our daily lives. Reminder: you deserve sexual wellness. Giving yourself permission to ditch the narratives of shame, judgment, and moral hierarchy that may have played a role in your sexual identity thus far is a beautiful process, but it’s not always rainbows and butterflies. If you are struggling to move past conditioning or beliefs that no longer serve you, you might consider recruiting additional support. While the following ideas are in list format, they are by no means all “easy” to accomplish. Cultivating sexual wellness is a process.
Healthcare
STI screenings
Pap smears
Scheduling with your doctor when necessary
Paying attention to your body
Peeing after sex
Personal hygiene
Contraception/protection
Education
Reclaiming your experience of sex education as an adult
Parting from unhelpful stereotypes and derogatory labels
Familiarizing with/committing to consent
Locating podcasts/books/documentaries that interest you
Communication
Communicating your needs without shame
Communicating your boundaries resolutely
Receiving others needs/boundaries with an open mind and heart
Transparency
Negotiating
Exploration
Exploring your own bodily pleasure
Being curious about alternative approaches (kink/BDSM, polyamory)
Embracing your sexuality
Identifying your boundaries
Processing trauma, deconstructing harmful messaging
Sexual education, resources
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/std-vs-sti-whats-the-difference